Show 7 - September 10

Lucky you. That's all I have to say. No shows this week... until now. Start crying, South Florida!

South Florida?

Yes... I have an obsession with South Florida. Miami. Bitches.

Wow George

South Beach Diet.

Is Max gonna be on tonight?

Nope. He is at a concert. You've got old-style torture tonight, lovely audience.

Ah yes, audience be prepared to listen to one of George's pointless, boring lectures... just kidding.

Anyhoo... I got an notification email today. Something called "Fukked Up" wants to be my friend on Jamendo.

What is Jamendo?

A site where I discover amateur and semi-professional musicians.

Ummmm ok

It's the site where Papa gets his porn.

Oh. Nice.

Moving on, some things have happened since we were last together on this blog. Would you like to name a few... without naming names?

Uhmmmm... you can tell the story.

There's a guy. Let's call him Jim. There's a girl. Let's call her Pam. There's another girl. She is very smart and pretty. Let's call her Mateen.

I like Mateen.

Mateen liked Jim. Jim liked Pam. Pam liked Jim. Oops. There's one sentence that doesn't belong. Damn it. :(

Very sad. But Mateen and Jim are friends now.

MEANWHILE! There's this other guy. Let's call him Tim. There's another girl. Let's call her Malinda (just making up a name here, folks).

Malinda is VERY pretty(: and nice(:

But... she's dating another guy. Let's call him Bernard.

I think Tim has a chance.

But Tim doesn't.

Yah... but he does.

Yah... but Tim isn't f***ing Jay Cutler.

Shut up!

What are you, a f***ing Bears fan?

Clean your language. NOW.

Ok. I'll put in some astericks.

Thank you.

Also. There is a f***ing [I put that in there after the conversation... Jamie would never let me get away with that] Jamaica in there. And she's a dark horse.

Huh?

Did I stutter? The bitch (and Jamie too) is back after this.



Okay. We are back. Jamie, I mastered something today. Do you want to guess what that was?

The ability to actually hit the tennis ball with the racket? :D

Funny. But no. I'm still having trouble with that one. Think grosser.

Ummmm...

Fellatio.

Actually... I mastered peeing.

Ewww...

I've always left junk on the edges. Today, I finally got it standing up. It's never been a skill of mine.

-Eye roll-

I'm serious. Have any other men had problems with accuracy?

I don't know.

I wasn't asking you. I was asking men. Let them answer. Cup your hand to your ear.

Errrr...

Nevermind. I want to play this game of mine. The one with the words. I think it'll be funnier with only one person. I'll shoot a word or phrase at you, and you need to guess it's definition. Then, I'll give you some definitions, and you'll have to name the word. Ready?

Okay.

"Neologist."

Zoo.

Hahahahahahahahahaha. You think that "neologist" means "zoo?"

No, it reminds me of zoo-ology, and that means zoo.

Great logic (lol), but alas you are wrong. A neologist comes up with new words. You're 0-1. The next one comes from the Urban Dictionary: Obeausity.

Octo-Mom!!!

You are exactly correct. Obeausity is "the theory that it would be easier to change our definition of beauty than to loose weight." 1 for 2. How about "soupcon?"

I think of Ramen!

Final answer?

Ummmmm yes!

VIDEO THAT I'M TOO LAZY TO POST!

WE DELETED THIS BIT CUZ IT WAS HORRIBLER THAN USUAL! Jamacian Me CRAZY!